Stop Talking. Start Writing.

There seems to be a recurring theme in my world these days.

I'm currently on vacation with my best friend and guess what was one of the first things we did? We talked about writing. 

Did we talk about what we're writing?

Nope.

Did we talk about how much we've written?

Nope.

Did we discuss our upcoming projects or how excited we are about them?

Nope.

We talked about how we should be writing, how much time we wish we had spent writing, and all the other things we've been doing instead.

Sound familiar?

While growing my Twitter following, I've encountered some newbie writers who are in the same boat. (Names have been omitted in order to protect the dear, sweet, writers. If by some strange twist of fate they are actually reading this, bless their dear, sweet souls, because I've got a truth bomb or two to drop.) 

Here are their the account descriptions:

I'm an aspiring author with a bad case of lazy. Currently writing a couple of novel series and a few screenplays.

I want to reply, Kudos on not calling yourself an aspiring writer! And for actually getting the job (or several jobs) started! Keep it up, Sunshine!

Here's another:

Hey guys! I'm a fiction writer who dreams of getting published; feel free to throw some inspiration my way!

I want to ask what's standing in her way. Is she waiting for the right time to publish? Is she waiting for a big, shiny contract? Those are pretty tough to score. And there are always strings attached. So if writers want to publish their stories, they need to get smarter and find the path that's right for them. 

Boom. Inspiration.

Here's my favorite account description:

Follow me as a I try to complete a novel I've been working on for the last seven years.

I want to comment on that, but I can't decide just how brutally honest I want to be. Which of the following would you suggest?

a) What's your timeline for completing this novel? Another seven years? Because YIKES.

b) Do you expect to see a return on your investment? Because you'll need to sell a ton of those puppies to break even after you've committed a decade to the project. Again, YIKES.

c) Obviously this project is going nowhere. Set it aside and find something you are truly passionate about finishing. And guess what? You'll have published that novel before you could have ever finished this one. 

I've known writers who couldn't give up on that first novel and/or publishing contract and insisted on pursuing it instead of moving on. The truth is we are better writers today than ever before and the stories and characters we develop will be more complex than they would have been several years ago.

On the other end of the spectrum is my amazing friend Jo Ann Schneider. Jo and I published our first novels the same year. However, in the time that I've published two Young Adult fairy tales, Jo has published seven novels, two novellas, as well as collaborating on a couple of short story anthologies. Did I mention that they're all in different genres?

Now that's smart. Jo not only talks about writing, she gets the job done. Her Facebook feed shows some awesome stuff these days. Here's what she shared last week:

Thursday:

Hey Jagged Scars fans. I'm on a mission to write a rough draft of book 5 between now and July 6th. It's only going to be about 80,000 words. That shouldn't be a problem, right? I started yesterday. 

Here is my progress report for today. Time for a snack.

Beginning word count: 5,015

Ending word count: 12,023

(Sarah's math says: 7,008 words on day one!)

Friday:

Hey Jagged Scars fans, here's my daily report:

Beginning word count: 12,023

Ending word count: 21,576

21,500 words down, only 60,000 to go!

(Sarah's math says: 9,553 words on day two!)

Saturday:

My goal was 25,000 words this week. Got a little more in. One week down, two and a half to go.

Beginning word count: 21,576

Ending word count: 26,610

(Sarah's math says: 5,034 words on day three! 21,595 words written in one week!)

She's amazing. If I wrote like that, my 50,000-60,000 novel would already be written. But I've let life get in the way. I've let distractions (like those blasted idiots who are supposed to be fixing my AC but still haven't done so) get in the way of my summer writing goals. 

So here I am, pulling up my big girl panties and saying it loud and proud:

I'm finishing another novel this summer. 

I'm already a third of the way done at over 20,000 words. Another 10,000 words (which I knocked out in one day last summer) and I'll be halfway done. I can do that, right? 

A life lesson that both Jo and I have learned is that as soon as you publish a novel the first thing your readers will ask is:

When will the next one be out?

Every author wants to say, Holy Heck, Greedy Gus! I just got this one out and it nearly killed me! Can you give me a second?

What we should do is express our gratitude for their support. We want them to be invested in us and all we do, right?

These are the people who will pay our bills. Or at least pay for the occasional pedicure.

As I continue down the road to fame and riches (or just regularly pampered feet), I welcome you to come along on the journey. Here's to finishing my first draft instead of just talking about it!

Midnight Sisters Shops Local!

I know you've heard it. Print books are dying out.

It's not encouraging to those of us who want to sell books to hear that buyers aren't buying. Or if they are buying, they're buying eBooks for under $1.

My crazy family. I can't take them anywhere...

Well, my dears, here's the truth. My author events in bookstores have always been successful. I don't make enough to move out of my two-bedroom condo or quit my day job, but I do make enough to keep writing. 

And occasionally pay for a pedicure. Or a green polka dot dress.

When your book launch is at a retro dress shop...

I've had a blast promoting my books in local shops this year. Friends, family, and perfect strangers strolled in and snatched up copies of my newest release, Midnight Sisters. And many of them snagged Becoming Beauty as well.

Crazy friends. Oh how I love them.

How does that happen if print books are a dying breed? Here's what I've seen:

• Local shops run by individuals who understand local culture and stock their shelves accordingly will be successful.
• Authors who carefully plan public events, put in the leg work (i.e. traditional and online promotion), and genuinely connect with potential readers will also be successful.

Trust me, simply showing up with a smile and 900 copies of your newest novel will not be enough. There needs to be a solid plan in place. Chat with shop owners and librarians, build good rapport, borrow tips and techniques from other writers, and get busy promoting on your end.

And yes, please take your smile and pile of books. You're going to need those.

Like any author, I've had several nominally successful author events too. Instead of becoming discouraged, I choose to learn from those experiences.

• Did I fail to promoted the event sufficiently? 
• Did I fail to include effective strategies that have worked before?
• Is my sales pitch (i.e. book blurb) enough to hook potential readers?
• Did I make some valuable connections that I can use later on?
• Did I leave a good impression with my host?

As a second-time author, I've been much better at playing to my strengths this time around. For me, that includes playing to the local crowd and being warm, friendly, and visible. Let me tell you, it's exhausting, but so much fun!

That's what we do, isn't it? Take the awesome, learn from the not-so-awesome, and keep on improving. So writerly and non-writerly friends, go forth and conquer!

Then come back and tell me how it went.

Reviews: Give 'em to me!

My background is in academic writing rather than creative writing, so I have a different perspective on constructive criticism than the run-of-the-mill author.

Basically, I get really excited when people review my books. And I don't despise three-star reviews.

Let me say that again: I don't despise three star reviews.

Why not?

Having a variety of reviews legitimizes books and authors. Even those one- and two-star reviews that make writers wonder if readers actually finished the book. In fact, books with all five star reviews make my eye twitch. I think, Really? There was nothing wrong with it? There wasn't a time when you wished the author had gone in a different direction? Or a character you fell in love with who didn't get enough screen time?

Success in the literary world is a numbers game. Reaching new readers is the name of the game. And when you share your book with the world, you have to be prepared for honesty, even from your friends and family. For instance, at my launch party for Becoming Beauty, my dad sat down with me and outlined some of the issues with my first novel. The novel I was at that moment launching. I think I blinked at him. A lot. But I listened and made notes for my subsequent novels.

That's what we do.

The second we decide we know everything about our craft, we may as well retire. Because apparently we have nothing new to offer the literary world. Keep learning from your mistakes, my friends, and move forward. Swallow that ego and open your ears.

So, how do you get reviews?

Well, it helps when you have a publishing house behind you. Cedar Fort sent my books to libraries and librarians and reviewers. Using their database, I made personal contact with Becoming Beauty's blog tour participants. They're the ones who started the ball rolling. I've done the same with Midnight Sisters. A blog tour is a lot of work, especially if you'd like something more than cookie cutter posts, but it's well worth it to reach new readers and reviewers.

And feel free to beg. Writers can't be afraid to ask for reviews. They just need to be ready for a few iffy reviews. Learn from each book you publish and grow with each project.

So here it comes! Are you ready? If you've read my books, hop on Amazon or Goodreads and leave me a review. Good. Bad. Meh. I'll take them all! Just give your honest impressions and click the submit button! It's like sharing your favorite brand of Girl Scout Cookies, people will take your opinion into consideration.

Peanut butter & chocolate. Mmmmm...

By the way, the correct answer is Tagalongs, my friends. Yes, Tagalongs.

If you're a writer (or in any other review-driven field) wondering how to deal with negative reviews, I'm there for you too! We all have a few stinkers in the bunch. We grin and bear it and remember that exposure is always good.

The Making of a Woman

Misconceptions about womanhood are played out in books and on the big and small screen all the time.  To believe that emphasizing the attractiveness of a woman's face or the firmness of her thighs will have no effect on how men view women or how young women see themselves is a lie.

Writers who perpetuate such misconceptions do a disservice to womankind.

Lately, I've been editing my version of The Twelve Dancing Princesses featuring a dozen distinct female characters. The journey from character sketch to final scene taught me a great deal about what makes a woman.

Let me tell you, it ain't those size 0 jeans. (Especially if the lady in question happens to be fond of chocolate. Or human.)

And it certainly isn't a blemish-free face. We earned those wrinkles with years of laughter and tears, didn't we? 
Could it be the sweet, patient woman who holds her tongue when perturbed? Perhaps.

But it could just as easily be the sharp-tongued lass who gives as good as she gets.

Might it be the glowing wit that leaves a room rolling with laughter? Maybe.

But it might also be she who delivers speeches that inspire, uplift, and move a room to tears and brave acts.

Being a woman may include a heart worn on a sleeve for all to see and abuse. It may include a tough skin built to guard a soft heart from hurt.

True womanhood encompasses a number of human foibles, mistakes and missteps that make a character human, lovable, and more understanding of others.
The women featured in literature should be a reflection of the mothers, grandmothers, sisters, and wonderful aunties in our lives. Good, bad, interesting, bland. Real. And more than a pretty face and an itty bitty dress size or a big bottom and a penchant for donuts.

Because that doesn't define us.

Real women are driven by love, pain, anger, jealousy, protectiveness, loyalty, and a myriad of other things. Shouldn't they have a place in literature? Shouldn't they have a chance to shape the way men think about us or what young women learn to value in themselves?

The more complex, intriguing woman I transform from  fairytales princesses who suck up the abuse only to become trophy wivee into complex, intriguing women, the better I feel. Isn't it time to stand up for real women with saddle bags, rings under their eyes, and no energy? Isn't it time to celebrate motherhood and dirty diapers and potty training? Isn't it time to celebrate women who work their butts off to make a difference in the world?

* * *

Thanks for dropping by! Feel free to leave me a comment and share your tips on crafting female characters. And if you'd love to read more about writing awesome heroes, peruse away!
Develop Sassy Heroes by Being One
Barbie's Dream Boat
Classic Heroines: Anne of Green Gables
The Power of Fairytales
Fairytales & Fancy Footwear
Diva Depressed
Funny Girls: Hostile Makeover

The Hazards of Dealing with Writers

It must be peculiar when someone argues with imaginary characters and invents new ways to torture them.

Today we embark on a frank discussion about the hazards of dealing with writers. Hopefully our efforts will encourage our loved ones to rant and rave less when dealing with our nutcase behavior. 

The Blink and Stare 

They do: Writers get lost in daydreams. Occasionally that means we stare into space while filling plot holes and imagining horribly wonderful things to do to characters.

You do: When we zone out, just hand us frosty beverages and snacks! (It's important to keep writers sufficiently nourished in this state.)

The Overuse of Extraordinarily Long Words 

They do: After writing and rewriting, adding and deleting descriptions, adverbs, and adjectives, writers' brains are overflowing with sesquipadelian words. 

You do: If these words emerge in ordinary conversation, smile and nod, my dears. (Feel free to dive for the dictionary later.)

Prolonged Periods of Quiet

They do: While writers work, it may become uncomfortably quiet. Remember that the writer in question is carrying on various conversations in her/his head and/or dealing with everything from grammar issues to problematic plot twists. 

You do: Avoid interrupting the writer at all costs. An irritated writer is capable of adding you to their cast of characters and using those long periods of silence to plot your death. 

Intermittent Laughter 

They do: Writerly silence may be interrupted by giggles and/or maniacal laughter. Yes, we giggle at our own stories. (Sorry.) And when we add something particularly evil that will make readers yell out loud and throw their Kindles across the room, the maniacal laughter comes out.

You do: It's best not to interfere. Unless you want an ear full of whatever we're cackling about. We'll behave normally later. (Probably.)

Intermittent Tears 

They do: At some point, all writers believe that their talents are CRAP and their stories aren't worth publishing. This may result in tears, tears, and more tears. 

You do: Keep the tissue on hand, pass out hugs as needed, and prepare several supportive statements like: 

• My, your butt looks amazing in those sweatpants! 
• Your natural scent is beautifully musky!
• How about another round of hot chocolate and Downton Abbey?

Odd Expressions/Gestures

They do: Writers may run into trouble describing a character's facial expressions or gestures. Sometimes, we practice the very things they're trying to describe, which will probably resemble some sort of bizarre mating ritual. (Again, sorry.)

You do: Just pretend like you didn't see anything. And think about how funny it will be to mock us later...much later.

Odd Research Questions and Google Searches

They do: Certain projects require writers to research bizarre subjects. We may ask you about how to stab someone fatally or poison a coworker. 

You do: Don't worry. It's all in the name of literature. Just delete the browser history regularly and keep 911 on speed dial just in case.

* * *

Writers are a pack of weirdos. There's no arguing with that. But because of their creative bend, they do keep life interesting!

What other writer hazards have you encountered? Leave me a comment!

The How-To Princess

It may be the big sister in me. Or the educator. But somehow all of it works together to form a MEGA amount of advice.

Photo Courtesy of Unsplash.com

I'll be the first to tell you that I don't know everything. But opening up, sharing what I've learned, and getting your input makes us all a little more awesome at what we do.

Since my website's birth, I've tackled subjects from growing your following on Twitter to the rules of writing and how to successfully flout them. So if there's an area you'd like to learn more, peruse the links below, follow those that pique your interest, and leave me comments to pass along your take on things.

That's right! I've tacked all these subjects and more!

How to Conquer Twitterland Managing your following seemed so easy when you created an account right? If you're like me, those 17 followers didn't become thousands without work. And they certainly didn't get there without a few sound practices.

How to Become a Better Writer Just like musicians and actors, writers have to practice their craft.
There are three areas that need to be addressed: writing, connection, and promotion.

How to Not Tick Off Your Readers Some writers consider annoying their audience their primary occupation. But how do you walk the fine line between stirring a reader's interest and causing them to write poor reviews?

How to Make Stories Your Own Some delightful human once asked me when I would start writing original stories. I gritted my teeth, stewed over it for a long time, and then I wrote this.

How to Behave on Social Media You can say whatever you want on Social Media and irritate anyone on your path to fame. right? Well, if you'd like to make friends and influence people, perhaps you should visit Ms. Etiquette.

How to Break the Rules Without Getting Yelled At...Much The rules of writing are vast. Some of them make no sense at all. The trick is knowing the why behind the rule and having a legitimate reason for making the literary choice you do.

How to Build Worlds: for the Literary Challenged Scene setting has always been a thorn in my side. Who cares if that bush just popped into existence or if my main character is suddenly holding an ax you didn't know she had? Readers, that's who.

How to Stay Sane and Upbeat in the Writing World Writing is a rollercoaster and entering the publishing world makes the ride more intense. How do you make it through alive? Don't lose your sense of humor!

How to Write Blog Posts Others Want to Read We do it with our books, right? Seems normal to expect people to be pulled into reading our shorter works as well. A few tricks of the trade will put you right on track.

How to Sell Stuff Without Annoying People Is it just me or does the pervading sales technique seem to be Hey! Buy my STUFF! I think we can do better than that. I've poured my best knowledge as a consumer, Social Media lover, and educator into this one.

Now, go forth and be awesome! (Also, feel free to leave me your ideas and tips in the comments!)

Humor & Inspiration: All The Awesomeness

It's been a pleasure hosting so many writers this year. I've learned from each and every one. And I will certainly be doing this again!
For your viewing pleasure, I present, the Humor & Inspiration Features in their entirety:

Author, editor, and overall amazing human being Lydia Thomas explains why there is no way on this green planet that she will write your memoirs. And why you should just walk away when someone says, “I have this amazing idea for a book! You’ll make millions!”

Brilliant mommy blogger Cathy from Prairie Wife in Heels shows there's no such thing as The Idyllic Country Life. (Especially with a houseful of little ones.) But when you're a City Girl turned Country Mama, there are ways to inspire and spread understanding in the world of women.

Annoyed with autocorrect? Gifted author and blogger Anne Goodwin
shares the fun (or outright challenge and frustration) of dealing with words that behave like toddlers. Anne inspires and causes laughing fits in equal measure. And she'll only make you slightly worried about double-checking your posts before you publish them...

Rockstar Terry Tyler, who's an author, blogger, book reviewer, and about seven other super cool things, gives us a crash course on inspiration. And yes, when you write character-driven novels, you draw inspiration from life. Nutty strangers on the bus beware!

Wise words from blogger and massage therapist Kaley Tallman! Kaley urges us to abandon the comfort zone in favor of pursuing the good life. So get comfortable, grab your favorite beverage, settle in for a spot of inspiration, and get ready to make your life amazing!

Avid readers turned writers? Yes please! If you need a good read, this is the one to peruse! Heidi Doxey, editor, writer, and blogger, shares her favorite reads, which all happen to be by British writers. Like they do for her, they'll inspire you and keep the laughter flowing. 

Carol J. Hedges is one of my favorite people, even though we've never met. Mentor, author, and fashion savvy super gran Carol takes on the subject of the comments people make when they find out you're a writer/author. Carol will train you to handle it with grace and humor.

Awesome author, blogger, and mama Allison Maruska takes on the subject of Quit Days. (You know, those days when you want to throw in the towel and drown your sorrow in a package of Oreos?) How do you deal? Allison walks us through the steps back to sanity.

Colleen M. Story, author, editor, and ghost writer takes on the subject of writers with (and without) personalities. 
Are writers with personality a dying breed? (Don't worry, Colleen's got plenty of personality and she urges all of us to strut our stuff as well.)

Tamara Copley has been writing and illustrating since the dawn of time. She shares her opinion on the importance of humor in writing. And the issues when humor is mishandled and/or badly done. Also, STAR WARS!

Sarah E. Boucher (that'd be writerly, authory, bloggery me) chats candidly about the ups and downs of the writing world. It's all about finding the funny, my friends! And developing a sense of humor so we can laughing in life's face instead of crying into a carton of Ben and Jerry's.

Our caboose Jenniffer Wardell brings up the rear! An accomplished fairytale romance writer, Jenniffer talks about humor, life, everyday heroes, and a new type of story that doesn't feature heroines with superhuman abilities. Sounds amazing. right?

There you have it, friends! All the awesomeness in one handy place! Thanks for participating, ladies! Nothing but love for you! If you'd like to follow any of my featurees on social media, follow the link their posts. Happy internet stalking!

Humor & Inspiration: The Magic of Humor

Tamara Copley:
Writer, Educator, Blogger

Welcome to the last stretch of the Humor & Inspiration Features! We've had laughter, wisdom, plenty of inspiration, and a fair amount of snark. (You're welcome, my darlings.)

I'm pleased to introduce today's guest, Tamara Copley. Not only is Tamara an accomplished writer, educator, and blogger, but she has been my friend since the Dawn of Time. (I remember an illustrated version of Superhero Cats in Funkalicious Space Suits she created in the early 90's.) Tamara possesses a rare blend of highbrow humor (think puns, lots of puns), amazing writing talent, and a sweet nature. Basically, there's no one better to tackle the topic of bringing the funny to your manuscript.

* * *

Sparkle

A good story requires great characterization with clear motivation, and a meaningful plot. A stellar story requires all that plus humor. I compared good books I’ve loved over the years to the Percy Jackson and Harry Potter series. These series have a sparkle many others lack because of humor.

Ting! Pearly whites aren't enough though...

Unfunny vs Funny

Let’s look at the Star Wars series. Movies 1-3 flop in part because all humor is focused in Jar Jar Binks, a buffoonish character who frustrates because he is a cheap shot for the kids and because he’s not funny to many adults. Meanwhile, dialogue and banter are often absent throughout the rest of the trilogy. Therefore, the only humor distracts from rather than enhances the storyline. Lacking their comedy relief, the other two movies don’t try to be funny. The lack of humor makes them fall flat and feel untrue to the original trilogy.  As with many movies, we watch them once and walk away.  

Somebody order a moody broody hero?

Entertainment should be fun. It should not feel like work to read a novel or watch a movie. 

What works in the Star Wars series? Movies 4-7 work because of humor. The Ewoks and the comedy duo straight man and chubby funny man, C3PO and R2D2, provide comic relief, but others provide humor as well. Even the simple, ubiquitous line, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” becomes humorous when handled right. Han Solo and Leia are both serious throughout the series, but they exchange banter and zingers on a regular basis that carry the movies with their humor and charm. Audiences still chuckle over, “You stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herder!” and Han’s winning response, “Who’s scruffy-looking?” These lines are funny because they’re a combination of familiar and unexpected. 

Beep bo beeeeeeep! (So adorable, right?)

Dialogue with humor provides magic for the original trilogy, and Force Awakens recaptures that, both with BB8, the quirky droid, and others.  [Spoiler alert]. Audiences see an entire village massacred then we get Poe Dameron’s line, “You speak first or I speak first?” to relieve the tension. One of the funnier scenes is the one in which Rey rescues herself using the force for the first time on a storm trooper played by James Bond’s Daniel Craig. Two serious characters make a funny scene while being serious because what happens there is so unexpected and straight-faced. Humor arises from fresh dialogue between intriguing characters with no “comedy relief” characters required. 

Your Turn

In most writing, humor is critical to the enjoyment of the reader. Humor doesn’t have to be constant or laugh-out-loud, but it should be present. It adds sparkle and fun. 

Boom, baby! Go forth and make it sparkle!

Entertainment is why most writers write and most readers read. Adding humor to a situation can make an otherwise somber story more enjoyable. Humor makes a reader care and helps carry the message into the reader’s mind and heart. 

Everyone’s brand of humor is different. Find yours, and your story will take on more magic and charm. 

* * *

Tamara Copley has been writing since grade school. She has several published works in the academic realm and has garnered awards for short stories, children's books, and poetry. Currently, Tamara teaches English for Brigham Young University Idaho and is preparing her first novel After the Dream for publication. She lives in northern Utah with her husband, children, and too many pets to count.

Connect with Tamara Copley online:
Author Tamara Copley Facebook Page
Author Tamara Copley on Twitter
A Writer's Reflections: Author Blog

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Thanks for sticking with me friends! The finish line is in sight. If you'd like to revisit the other Humor & Inspiration posts, please do so!

Lydia Thomas: No, I Won't Write Your Memoirs 

Prairie Wife in Heels: The Idyllic Country Life 

Anne Goodwin: When Words Behave Like Toddlers 

Terry Tyler: Art Inspires Life

Kaley Tallman: Abandoning the Comfort Zone

Heidi Doxey: British Book Invasion

Carol J. Hedges: So You've Published a Book...

Allison Maruska: Four Steps Away From the Cliff
Colleen M. Story: Writers with Personality
Sarah E. Boucher: Beating the Blaaahs
Jenniffer Wardell: All the Best Jokes

Happy reading!

Punchy, Fun, Engaging Posts

Awesome blog posts don't just happen.

There are plenty of things to consider if you want to create posts people will read without excessive eye-rolling and/or growling aloud. (Note: if eye-rolling and excessive growling is your goal, you have my permission to hit the road, Jack. Bye-bye!)

Choose cool topics
You may be the Grand Expert of Nothing, but you can still share what you know and the resources that have helped you. Go ahead and respond to readers, issues presented by other authors, and explore cool trends in the literature world. (Note: don't act like a know-it-all...unless you've done some mega research and you actually know it all. #SmartA)

Keep 'em brief & positive

Step one is Get the Words Out! So what if they're bitter or rambling? I'm often Miss Bitter and Rambling. But before embracing my righteous indignation and pounding the publish button, I don my editor hat. (Yes, it's super cute and covered with bling!) Humor is added to soften angry/bitter words. And repetitive redundancies can meet Mr. Delete. (Note: soliloquizing and crazy rants already have a place in Shakespeare. And he does it better than you. #SorryNotSorry)

Format, highlight, & leave some freaking blank space

If you don't have an inner artist, this is a good time to develop one. Think of ADD children, and visually peruse the post for large chunks of text that readers (like me) will find overwhelming. Chunk it into more readable bites. Use those schmancy little editing buttons to bold, italicize, and highlight subtopics, important nuggets, or tweetable gems. And please for the love of Pete, leave a decent amount of white space! (If you think this is just the ramblings of a crazy kindergarten teacher, go ahead and write four pages without paragraph breaks or dialogue to interrupt. I'm bored just thinking about it...and you?)

Eye-catching images
We like to pretend that Words are All Powerful. Nothing undermines that theory like the share-ability of a post with cool images. You're all professional photographers and artistic geniuses, right? No? No worries, there are plenty of resources that make even the dumbest of bunnies look good:

• Unsplash is my favorite source for free, high-quality photos. Jazz 'em up, have a bit of fun, and voila, a custom image for your post. (If Unsplash isn't your style, peruse this Verve article for other sites with royalty-free images.) 
• Photoshop makes my inner child shudder. RhonnaDesigns is the Instagram app I use for editing and embellishing photos. It's simple and includes various fonts, stickers, frames, etc. #SoCute
• I've heard good things about PicMonkey, which includes many of the same features and it's free.

Double duty! I create cool images for my website and later use them for Social Media promotion. (And hey, if you haven't been paying attention, Pinterest and Instagram are all about the images, baby!)

Link it up
Again, utilize those schmancy buttons at the top to embed links to related blog posts on the same topic, others' posts that inspired yours, and outside resources (book links, more information on the same topic, etc.). Think carefully about how to reference them to encourage the reader to follow the links. (Note: never use HERE to reference links. Mr. Lazy Bones. HERE tells you nothing about where the link leads. It's only useful on that map at the mall when you have no idea where you are. #YouAreHERE)

Choose an awesome title
Some readers won't get past boring, off-putting titles. When crafting a title, think in terms of promotion. What do you want readers to attend to most? Title your post accordingly. Also, be sure to deliver on any promises made to the reader. Annoyed readers don't stick around. Shocker!

Interact with readers
The internet closes the gap between celebs and Joe Shmoe. We may as well encourage audience participation and close that gap a little more, right? We can invite readers to comment, share their expertise, and give their opinions or preferences on the issues we present. Did you think about the fact that you're someone's favorite writer? If you've ever seen the sparkle in someone's eye after they read your book, that's what it means!

Recheck before posting
Resist the righteous indignation of pounding the publish key for one more second! Preview and recheck it again. Peruse, play with different formatting, add your labels, and test your links. I can't tell you how many times I've been so proud of a post only to read it through and find a glaring error. #SoooooEmbarrassing 

The moral of the story is: 

You can never look too brilliant!

(So take your time and make it awesome.)

We've reached the end end of my soliloquy on creating Punchy, Fun, Engaging Posts. (Note: this was the least punchy, fun, engaging post EVER. So I jazzed it up a bit. How did I do?) 

By the way, if you'd love to see some masters at work, here are a few of my favorites:

Paula Reed Nancarrow
Rachel Thompson
Prairie Wife in Heels
Kate Tilton

Jann Alexander
Colleen Story

Any other tips you'd mention to the blogosphere, my dears? I'd love more input on the subject. Leave me a comment below!

Humor & Inspiration in Writing: So, You've Published a Book...

Carol Hedges:
Author, Blogger, Super Gran

When writers take on the publishing world, they jump in with two feet. I had NO idea what was coming in the form of marketing, sales, and random comments from strangers and not-so-strangers. I've already unveiled a few secrets of marketing and authorship. Today's Humor & Inspiration guest, Carol Hedges, will address a few more of the...uh, annoying aspects of authorship (i.e. random comments strangers and not-so-strangers make when they discover you're a writer/published author.) 

Let me just say this about Carol Hedges, she is hysterical. Whether she's discussing her granny duties or introducing her latest book, she's professional, warm, inviting, and YES, hilarious. Introducing her to you is an immense pleasure. Take it away, Carol!

* * *    

Advice to Newly Published Writers

So you have finally published your first book! Congratulations, fellow writer, welcome to the best club on earth! And here you are now, head held high, feet a million miles off the ground, waiting for your sales to take off, 5 star reviews to pile in, and Hollywood to make that all-important call.

***ADVANCE WARNING***

As you share your wonderful achievement with family, friends and complete strangers (because you won’t be able to resist), expect to encounter the following:

1. You don’t look like a writer: this has been said to me so many times I have lost count. I have tried to get the person to define exactly WHAT a writer looks like (pallid, vacant stare, two heads, ink-stains on their jumper). All I ever get is ‘not like you.’

Apparently. they expect us to look weirder.

2. I’ve often thought I could write a book. Everybody has a novel inside them, it seems. And it is so easy to write it, apparently. Don’t bother to share the agonising hours staring at a blank screen, the sleepless nights trying to work out the plot, the constant feeling that you are wasting your time. They won’t believe you. It must be easy...after all, YOU did it.

Because that's just so easy-peasy.

3. I don’t have time for reading. Subtext: ‘I am far too busy doing important things for such idle frivolity; you clearly aren’t.’ Smile and wave, smile and wave. Put them in the next book and kill them. Slowly and painfully.

Boneheads, beware!

4. So what’s it about, your book? OK, trick question. You will be tempted to launch into your carefully written blurb, or that brilliantly crafted synopsis that took you three days to produce. Waste of time. They will inevitably reply by asking you whether your book has got any dogs in it because they like reading books about dogs.

This one's ALL about dogs. (And an easy reader!)

5. I’ve got this really good idea for a book - do you want to hear it? No, you don’t. Because this is your moment, your achievement, your book. But they will tell you regardless. In detail. They will probably then offer to let you use their idea in your next book. Resist the temptation.

The correct response to an unsolicited book pitch.

6. That (insert name of over-hyped writer) earns a fortune. Aha! Now’s your chance. Lead them carefully through the meagre royalty rates, the bookshop discounting, the amount of unpaid promotion you have to do. They won’t believe you, but it will remind you why you wanted to be a writer in the first place...for love of the craft, not for money.

I'll just leave this here...            

........and then pat yourself on the back, tell yourself that you have achieved what thousands of others can only dream of, and start writing your next book.

* * *

Carol Hedges is the successful UK author of 15 novels. 12 for teenagers and young adults, and three adult historical novels. Her books have been shortlisted for various prizes. Her YA novel Jigsaw was long-listed for the Carnegie Medal and her first Victorian Crime novel Diamonds & Dust was listed for the 2013 CWA Historical Dagger. She is currently writing the fifth book in her Victorian Detectives series. The fourth, Murder & Mayhem, will be published later this year.

* * *

Gorgeous cover art, Carol. Also, I'm totally in love with the pink car of joy.

See? She's a delight! I think I'll keep her (but mostly for my own amusement). Feel free to find her online, she's easy to chat with and is an amazing writer and mentor. 

Twitter: @carolJhedges

Her award winning blog: Carol Hedges 

Discover The Curious Victorian on Facebook

Visit her Amazon author pages:
Amazon (UK)
Amazon (US)

Also, you can revisit the other writers from the Humor & Inspiration Features: 

Lydia Thomas: No, I Won't Write Your Memoirs 

Prairie Wife in Heels: The Idyllic Country Life 

Anne Goodwin: When Words Behave Like Toddlers 

Terry Tyler: Art Inspires Life

Kaley Tallman: Abandoning the Comfort Zone

Heidi Doxey: British Book Invasion

Allison Maruska: Four Steps Away From the
Colleen M. Story: Writers with Personality
Tamara Copley: The Magic of Humor

Sarah E. Boucher: Beating the Blaaahs

Jenniffer Wardell: All the Best Jokes