The How-To Princess

It may be the big sister in me. Or the educator. But somehow all of it works together to form a MEGA amount of advice.

Photo Courtesy of Unsplash.com

I'll be the first to tell you that I don't know everything. But opening up, sharing what I've learned, and getting your input makes us all a little more awesome at what we do.

Since my website's birth, I've tackled subjects from growing your following on Twitter to the rules of writing and how to successfully flout them. So if there's an area you'd like to learn more, peruse the links below, follow those that pique your interest, and leave me comments to pass along your take on things.

That's right! I've tacked all these subjects and more!

How to Conquer Twitterland Managing your following seemed so easy when you created an account right? If you're like me, those 17 followers didn't become thousands without work. And they certainly didn't get there without a few sound practices.

How to Become a Better Writer Just like musicians and actors, writers have to practice their craft.
There are three areas that need to be addressed: writing, connection, and promotion.

How to Not Tick Off Your Readers Some writers consider annoying their audience their primary occupation. But how do you walk the fine line between stirring a reader's interest and causing them to write poor reviews?

How to Make Stories Your Own Some delightful human once asked me when I would start writing original stories. I gritted my teeth, stewed over it for a long time, and then I wrote this.

How to Behave on Social Media You can say whatever you want on Social Media and irritate anyone on your path to fame. right? Well, if you'd like to make friends and influence people, perhaps you should visit Ms. Etiquette.

How to Break the Rules Without Getting Yelled At...Much The rules of writing are vast. Some of them make no sense at all. The trick is knowing the why behind the rule and having a legitimate reason for making the literary choice you do.

How to Build Worlds: for the Literary Challenged Scene setting has always been a thorn in my side. Who cares if that bush just popped into existence or if my main character is suddenly holding an ax you didn't know she had? Readers, that's who.

How to Stay Sane and Upbeat in the Writing World Writing is a rollercoaster and entering the publishing world makes the ride more intense. How do you make it through alive? Don't lose your sense of humor!

How to Write Blog Posts Others Want to Read We do it with our books, right? Seems normal to expect people to be pulled into reading our shorter works as well. A few tricks of the trade will put you right on track.

How to Sell Stuff Without Annoying People Is it just me or does the pervading sales technique seem to be Hey! Buy my STUFF! I think we can do better than that. I've poured my best knowledge as a consumer, Social Media lover, and educator into this one.

Now, go forth and be awesome! (Also, feel free to leave me your ideas and tips in the comments!)

What Doesn't Kill You

Okay, usually I'm not a whiny pants. I usually suck it up and try to get on with my life. My mother has always lived with the mantra: 

Seriously. But occasionally life sends you a curve ball and you either make time for it or you get smacked in the head and risk brain damage.

Anyway, I'm the kind of girl who thinks everything is all right. Except when I spend the better part of two years feeling like I'm suffering from a nasty cold. Doesn't make a girl feel like a princess when she's always honking her hooter or sneezing so loud that small children are terrified. Not cool. When the problems persisted, I finally spoke up. Like all my friends, the doctor said, "Sounds like allergies." 900 injections later it turns out that I am allergic to trees, weeds, grass, mold, and dust. Awesome.

Also, I spoke up about the numbness in my hands. And Ta-Da! After another horrible test, I was diagnosed with severe Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Even better. However, my wonderful massage therapist has been working with me to minimize the damage until I can receive surgery in the next couple of weeks.

As obnoxious as it is to find out that you're allergic to your life and that your craft is in jeopardy, it's better to find out that you can recover from it. No matter whether your passion is writing, art, mommying, or anything else, you will be more effective if you take time for yourself and your health.

These are my top To-Dos:

• Drink water. Keep your brain and body hydrated or they don't work as well as they should.
• Exercise. Even if it's something low impact like walking around the block. Or chasing your kids around the park. (And hey, my pool is open all summer. Come on over.)
• Visit the doctor regularly. Ask questions about anything out of the ordinary. (Believe me, finding out that you have 20 allergies and carpal tunnel in the same two week period isn't fun. It's better to investigate things before they become serious.)
• Search out holistic remedies. They're typically cheaper and more comfortable than traditional medicine. So why not?
• Play. You may not think it's important, but your brain needs time to unwind too. I am at my most creative when I take time for myself. Laughter may not be the best medicine, but it certainly doesn't hurt!

What do you do to protect your health? I'd love to know. Leave me a comment! Meanwhile, I'll be all allergy-drugged-up and chilling at the pool! Enjoy!

Also. my Happy Birthday Giveaway is still going on. Enter to win a signed copy of Becoming Beauty or an Amazon Gift Card. Good luck!

The Last Goodbye

In pursuit of more sanity and brains for creative endeavors, I'm leaving my career in public education for a stint in the charter school arena. It has been the best hard work I've ever done, but after ten years, it's time to say goodbye.

Goodbye extreme diversity. 

You've taught me to love children of all colors. You've taught me that children from all walks of life can learn and grow regardless of their background. Truly, some of my greatest success has been with children who spoke no English at all when I met them. It doesn't matter if their parents had little schooling, by working together, we made miracles. I will never forget your beautiful faces or your bright eyes.

 Goodbye fellow teachers. 

You are my friends, my mentors, and my inspiration. Serving in the trenches with you has been a pleasure. You helped me through difficult times with laughter, lots of chocolate, and a few tears. You taught me how to love and serve our children best. I carry with me all your wisdom, devotion, and every last lesson I learned from you. (And no worries, I'll be texting you about all the crazy things that happen in the new school.)

Goodbye unique community. 
Your families have won my heart and your cultural flavor is one of a kind. The warmth with which you welcomed me will never be forgotten. Memories of special celebrations, dedicated parent volunteers, Zumba nights, and Halloween madness will accompany me wherever I go. 

My emotions have been on a roller coaster since I made the decision to submit an application for the new position. And there will definitely be more water works to come. Though I'm pleased to have the opportunity to try a new path, I'm happy to have worked hard and well with students who needed me so desperately. I will not forget my time with them. Ever. What can I say? I love my people.

For more on my Kindergarten Journey, try Adventures in Kindergarten, It's Playtime! or The Start of Something Good. And don't ever let anyone tell you teaching is for those who can't do anything else! 

Thank you all!

Paper Dolls & Cotton Castles

Paper dolls of various sizes litter the dining room table. Round, fat tummies, cotton-candy hair, extra big eyes, and cheerful grins.  Trace them, she taught me, trace them to make the clothes. I hold a pencil in one had and a handful of markers in the other. I remember to add tiny rectangular tabs to the shoulders and waists to affix the dresses, top, and pants to the dolls. 

With a little bit of effort, you can make your own fun.

I've never suspected that she's to blame for my clothes fetish, but perhaps she is.

The day-to-day clothes I wore as a teenager certainly didn't inspire my love for clothing. We did our best with six kids and a single income, but that meant we thrifted before thrifting was the thing. She did have a gift for sewing new items out of practically anything.  She fashioned dresses, tops, and skirts and loved doing it. Through high school, all my cute dresses were made by her hands on a treadle-run machine no one else could work. The rhythmic clickety-clack across cream lace, blue and white taffeta, and forest green sheers became the background music of our home life.  

Beauty can be made even if money is scarce.

We were green before green was the thing too. T-shaped posts supported three laundry lines, too many clothespins to count, and clothes and bedding for a family of eight. I remember weaving in and out of the sheets, feeling like a princess in a cotton-walled castle with a blue sky roof. 

There were chats over piles of laundry while we folded. Fold, chat, fold, chat. Momma's little helper. She always said the work went faster when you had someone to talk to, and as usual, she was right.

Work is light when everyone takes a part. 

That's my mom. 

She's a bestower of good advice, a woman the neighbors call angelic, a housekeeper who has always preferred to be hands deep in dirt rather than cleaning indoors, a gifted artist who keeps her talents a secret, a wife who has made it work with her sweetheart for nearly 50 years, a mom who takes twenty minutes to say goodbye because there's always one more thing to say and one more hug and kiss to give. 

She is and always will be my biggest fan.

Thanks, mom! Happy 72 years of being amazing!

The Start of Something Good

Teaching young children is like growing a garden, you get to see everything from sobbing and knowing nothing on the first day of school to the development of competent readers and writers who vow they'll miss you forever on the last day of school.

One of my--ahem--cherubs was just such a girl.  I had educated her older two sisters, who were both bright and willing to help, and I expected much of the same. What actually happened took me by surprise. I've crafted a short story to give you the basics of her first day of kindergarten:

          I glared at the airplane thingy stuck on the front of the school.  

          Nope. 

          There was no way I was going under that thing or through those big glass doors, no matter what was behind them.  My sisters, after saying hello to everyone, had already gone in, but I wasn't going to follow. No matter what they'd told me about school, I just wanted to be home.

          “Come along, m’hija,” Mom said quietly, her warm hand tugging mine. "It's time for school. Your teacher will be waiting." 

          I fixed my big brown eyes on her. It didn't matter that I was only five. I already knew what my big eyes could do. You'd see. She'd cave in a minute, and then it would be home, my favorite cereal, and cartoons galore.

          Mom didn't look convinced. She raised her eyebrows and gave me the Mommy Look instead.

          Usually, being the smallest in the family means I do what I want. Today, being the smallest meant that if she towed me where I didn't want to go, I had no choice but to follow.

          We passed through the big glass doors and were swallowed up by too much noise and too many long legs. A few kids peeking through their parents legs like me, but most of them hurried off and left their parents behind.  I could never do that.

          A wall of windows, the sun glaring through them, stretched in front of us. Between the brightness, the noise, and all the people, it was too much.  I tried to hide behind mom, but she didn't give me the chance. To both sides branched wide, white hallways, like at the hospital.  My stomach felt funny just thinking about it. When Ana had gotten hurt, we'd all gone to the hospital. 

          I hated it. 

          Remembering she'd gotten hurt at school, I tried to dig my heels in, but the floor was too slippery. Mom didn't seem to be bothered by any of it.  Ignoring everything, she led me down one of the hallways.  More glass doors stood at the end of the hall. Had I won? Looking at the doors, my insides felt less funny. Home, cereal, and cartoons, here I come!

          Right before we got there, mom turned again and I lost sight of the way out and forgot about cartoons for a second. In front of me were kids my size with Dora, Barbie, and Sponge Bob backpacks strapped to their backs. I wanted a closer look at them, but not if it meant staying at school. 

          Parents helped kids put their things away, took pictures, and shelled out kisses and hugs. Were they all leaving? Would my mom leave? I dug in my heels the best I could. I wasn't going any further. The only place I was going was home.

          Mom turned to me and crouched down so she was looking right in my eyes and said in her softest voice, “You're going to be fine. Your sisters loved kindergarten.”

I didn't believe her, but I didn't have time to think about it because that's when she got there.  I'd seen her before.

          “Good morning, Mari. How are you?” she asked. Unlike mom's, her voice was loud. And how did she know my name? 

          “Are you ready for kindergarten?” Her smile—like the rest of her—was too big. She was even bigger than daddy.

          Tears splashed down my cheeks. Mom was going to leave me with this big lady! I flung my arms around my mom. She wasn't leaving without me.

          Her big brown eyes were sad as she peeled me off and passed me to the big lady. The big lady's hand went to my back as she steered me to a room full of bright colors and strange girls and boys. I glanced back at mom, trying to decide if I could make it back to her.  She smiled a little smile at me.

          Just then the big lady crouched down to whisper in my ear, “You know, Mari, there are so many fun things waiting for you. And I already know we're going to be good friends.”

          Her warm hand on my back and her words still in my ears, something inside me grew less scared. I looked back at mom one more time, and taking a deep breath, I stepped into the classroom.

 * * * * *

I'd like to say it was that easy.  In reality, the little friend in question spent the better part of the first month of school sobbing and refusing to eat breakfast for the first 20 minutes of every day. However, in the end she became one of my greatest success stories.  Not only does she read and write beautifully, but she is confident and happy at school and simply adores me.  (That last part probably isn't important from an educational standpoint, but I really did tell her we were going to be best friends, because even with all those tear, I had that feeling from the get-go.)

For more of my adventures in kindergarten, read Closing Time and Run, Forrest, RUN! And if you ever need a slice of sunshine, feel free to volunteer at your local elementary school.  Seriously, little people are the most gracious and welcoming individuals I know.

The Meet-Cute

Now that you've selected the perfect yin to your character's yang, it's time to have them get acquainted. The first time I heard the phrase meet-cute was in the romantic comedy The Holiday.  Arthur's explanation is similar to what I found on Wikipedia:

A meet-cute is a scene in film, television, etc, in which a future romantic couple meets for the first time in a way that is considered adorable, entertaining, or amusing.

The Holiday itself is packed with meet-cutes.  For example, Cameron Diaz and Jude Law's characters have a fantastic meet-cute where Law shows up dead drunk on his sister's porch only to encounter the pajama-clad Diaz instead.

The first meeting of characters, on screen or in print, is as important as any first impression.  It sets the stage for everything that happens afterward.  Here are my tips, gleaned from years of picking apart romantic comedies:

1. Make it memorable:  One or both of the parties--as well as the audience--should be left thinking about what has just happened.  A negative first impression, like Mr. Darcy makes on Elizabeth, can be as effective as a positive first impression.
2. Make it emotional: Emotions can run hot or cold at this point, but if your characters or audience are unaffected by the meet-cute, they will have no motivation to continue. 
3. Make it sensory: This is the perfect time to involve the senses in the story. The more senses you can activate, the more readers will connect with the scene. 

Following my own guidelines, I beefed up the meet-cute from Sam James (unpublished):

Considering the early hour, Samantha felt amazingly chipper. Perhaps it was because every time she'd fallen asleep her dreams had revolved around a certain ballroom dancer with a strong, confident look in his eyes and a manly set to his mouth. She reflected on his many attractions as she swung open the gym door. The air-conditioning wafted over her as the elevator music--something from the 80s--assailed her ears.  At the door, she selected a gossipy magazine from the amply supplied rack and placed it in front of her on a stationary bicycle.  Setting the bike on the highest setting, she chose a particularly racy article and began her workout. 

She was thoroughly engrossed in both magazine and cycling when someone mounted the bike next to hers.  Inattentive to the sounds of the gym filling before, now that her attention had been drawn from the magazine, she began to feel a little self-conscious.  Sweat pooled across her shirt, stringy bits of hair were pasted to her neck and forehead, and some sort of gym-sock-like aroma hung about her. Sam wrinkled her nose. She glanced at the gym’s other occupants to see if anyone else had noticed.  
Unfortunately, she seemed to have fallen in with the non-sweating, attractively dressed, calmly chatting with each other while glaring in her general direction set.  She was about to slink discreetly out when her gaze fell on the person beside her.  The face from her dreams smiled disarmingly back at her, and added a cheery, “Good morning.”

Sam tried to respond, but her throat had gone dry, probably because her mouth was gaping open.  She must look like some kind of mentally incapacitated guppy. 

Amusement twinkled in his eyes.  “Do you need some water or something?  You must be parched.” Without waiting for a response he tossed her a bottle, saying, “Fresh from the vending machine.”

Catching it, she blinked uncomprehendingly down at it for a moment. Where were all the glib comments and clever retorts?  She popped the lid off and lifted the bottle to her mouth.

He watched, his eyes growing bigger as she downed the entire bottle in a matter of seconds.  “Impressive.”

Embarrassed and still incapable of forming complete sentences. she wiped the droplets from her chin and passed him the empty bottle.  

He smiled again, a somewhat lopsided grin and said, “Better?”

“Uh, yeah.  Thanks,” she said, resigned to the fact that his first impression of her would be as a sweaty, stinky, sloppy, mouth breather.  She turned, poised to beat the speedy retreat he’d frustrated earlier.  

“Have a good day,” he said, smiling his cockeyed grin at her retreating figure.

* * * * *

Hot or Not: Classic Disney Heroes

Classic heroes. We adore them, right? And these days, with the Tom Hiddlestons of the world, we've become a little enamored with the villians as well. But today's character study is not about the baddies, so wipe the drool off your chin and let's move on.

If we confine ourselves to solely classic fairytale heroes, the fare would be rather bland (see A Beastly Beauty). Thankfully, the creative geniuses at Disney have done a masterful job of breathing life into nameless, flat characters. (I mean, think about it, she was always Cinderella, but who was he? That's right, The Prince. Stunningly unimaginagive.)

So, for the purposes of research (i.e creating new characters, arranging new meet-cutes, or fashioning the perfect hero for your heroine to ping off of) I present:

Sarah's Guide to Classic Disney Princes 

(sorry BuzzFeed, Tom Hiddleston didn't  make the list, though we do consider him perfectly princely.)

Snow White's Prince (a.k.a. Prince Florian): The first of the Disney line-up, he left the gates with little more than a pretty face. (Seriously, who even knew his name was Florian?) He represents the Romantic Dreamer and is as caught up in the land of fairytale love as the bashful Snow. Loyal and true to his first love, he will do whatever is necessary to win her hand.  No huge fireworks or dragon-battling are required, just true love's kiss from a devoted prince. His is the story of Lasting Love.

Prince Charming (a.k.a Henry): He is the cream of the crop and literally so dreamy women line the streets to catch a glimpse of him. However, when he finds the girl of his dreams, he will allow nothing to come between them.  Evil stepmothers and stepsisters combined with all the stinky feet in the land can not deter him.  He is the passionate RockStar embroiled in the Love at First Sight scenario.

Prince Phillip: Philip is the funny, handsome, Adventurer who keeps you laughing and falling more in love each second. Even though he's betrothed to a princess, when he meets a beautiful stranger in the forest, he longs to throw convention aside and wed her instead. Little does he realize she is his betrothed or that he will have to battle unforeseen odds (this is where the dragons and fireworks come in) to free her from an awful curse and secure his Happily Ever After. Philip's is the story of Love Against All Odds.

Prince Eric: If there was ever a Love Gone Wrong tale, it's Eric's. Smitten by Ariel's voice, he vows to find and marry her, only to be tricked into wooing another.  In the meantime, he has begun to appreciate the virtues of the now-mute Ariel.  When the truth is revealed, he does all in his power to ensure her safety and win a place at her side.  He is the Fighter.

The Beast...I guess his name is actually Adam:  The Beast is the Fixer-Upper. Along the path of life, his way has become...well, muddled.  He requires the love and understanding of a good woman to help him put the demons of his past behind him and emerge from the cocoon of beastliness as a new man.  He is the type of person who is initially off-putting, but on closer acquaintance becomes endearing. His is the Love Grows out of Dislike storyline.

Aladdin: As Jafar expressed so succinctly, Aladdin is the Diamond in the Rough. He is charming, witty, and possesses the ambitions of one born on the wrong side of the tracks.  All of this is enough to catch the notice of a princess, who is drawn to him not because of his wealth or power, but because he truly befriended her.  Theirs is the tale of Friendship Blossoming into Love.

Hopefully, the above list (a healthy mix of human weakness and macho, macho manness) has gotten your creative juices flowing.  I'd love to know who is your favorite hero and how these classic characters have affected your choices in reading and writing.  Please leave me a comment!

Note: Prince whosiswhatsit from The Frog Princess, Flynn Rider, the gaggle of weirdos from Brave, and the gentlemen from Frozen have been omitted for reasons of my own.  To learn about these more modern heroes, please visit The DisneyWiki, home of the above image. (However, even they omit the weirdos from Brave, probably because they are indeed weirdos.)

Knights in Tarnished Armor

I do occasionally date.  (I know, SHOCKER.) And in the big bad world of dating, I've met some humdingers.  Case in point: the guy who asked me for a second date before we'd gone on the first, then after the first date, never called me back. That'll make you feel like a princess.

The knight in not-so-shining armor I'm thinking of was nice enough, relatively gentlemanly (he slogged through slushy snow to pick me up on the curb so I could keep my shoes dry--winning brownie points in my book), and he was oh-so-obliging and friendly. I firmly believe I could have made him date me if I had wanted to, but after about two dates, neither of us was interested enough to put forth the effort.  This is something happily married folks tend to misunderstand.  Sometimes it's just better to be single.

Go ahead.  Gasp, turn blue, and keel over.  I live in Utah, for Pete's sake, I've heard it all.  After 37 years of living the single life, here's my favorite nugget of wisdom: happily single is preferable to unhappily attached.

I'm not talking about ego or convenience--though it is nice to not have to fight over the remote on Superbowl Sunday or argue about whose socks were left in the living room or whose dishes were left in the sink.  What I'm talking about is something so good it makes your life better. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about making your life easier, like the newest whatchamacallit that will both dice your vegetables and remove stains from your favorite jeans.  Nope. I'm talking about improving your life in ways that really matter.  Three blog posts later (see The Power of Fairytales), I still don't believe Happily ever after solves all your problems.  In fact, it usually opens a floodgate of new ones.  But, if it's right, good, and worth fighting for, it can bring genuine joy to your life.

I'm still looking for my prince charming.  Not some stunningly handsome bloke with scads of money, a fancy car, and charm oozing out his hooha, truth be told, I prefer knights in tarnished armor who've been around the block and carry a ding or two from the ride.  Real, good, and funny suits me just fine.  

Until I find one who a) fits the bill, and b) is also intrigued enough to take on a crazy redhead, or c) is Tom Hiddleston, I'll keep conjuring Mr. Fantastic up in the land of twisted fairytales.  True love and romance aside, there are few things as satisfying as creating a hero readers respond to with, "If you leave him out to dry, I'm going to hate you!"

Meet the gentlemen who inspired the aforementioned comment, the Beast and his faithful companion, Jack: 

*Author note: for this exercise, please picture the Beast as quite big, burly and beastly.  That is all. Carry on.

They had tromped into the dining room—which was really little more than a dingy space with a large table, chairs, and some shelves for storage—with Jack trailing slightly behind.  Jack was tall and broad shouldered, with the muscular physique indicative of hard labor.  In any circle, he would have been considered a large man, but compared to his master he looked average.  Additionally, Jack had dark rumpled hair, a strong jaw defined by a trim mustache and beard, and intelligent brown eyes.  If it weren’t for his common attire, he might have passed for a gentleman. 

After my captor had pointedly ignored me and seated himself at the head of the table, Jack introduced himself, offering me a friendly grin.  Meanwhile, the Beast took one spoonful of soup, spat it back into the bowl, pushed it scornfully aside, and proceeded to mutter about how horrible it was.  On the other hand, Jack shoveled spoonful after spoonful into his mouth as if it was the best thing he’d ever eaten, practically endearing him to me on the spot.  I looked from one to the other, folded my arms across my chest, narrowed my eyes at my host and pronounced, “You really are a beast.” 

He laughed the low sardonic laugh that made the hair on the back of my neck prickle.  Propping his booted feet on the table, he leaned back in his chair.  “Of course, princess.  That’s all you can see, isn’t it?”

(Excerpt from Becoming Beauty, all rights reserved.)

They are quite lovable, aren't they?  Like most things, they become more charming with time. Oh! And if you should happen to come across my prince charming, will you send him my way? I think he may have gotten stuck in a ditch or something...

The Rose & Jewel

And then the heavens decreed, There shall be but one Boucher daughter. Accordingly, my mother had five sons.  And me. 

With five brothers, my girlhood wasn't exactly lonely.  But I longed for a sister.  I didn't want someone to steal my clothes or leave long, creepy, strands of hair in the sink. (That still creeps me out.) What I wished for was someone who would keep me up at night talking about boys, giggling about nothing, and sharing girly secrets.  More than anything, I wanted someone with whom I could share that sisterly bond that draws girls together.

Over the years, my life has been enriched by sister friends and sweet sister-in-laws. Lovingly, they filled the void I felt in my childhood.  Perhaps that lifelong struggle for connection inspired the theme in Becoming Beauty in the first place.  Having no sisters of my own, I enjoyed exploring the ins and outs of a sister relationship through the creation of Becoming Beauty.

Introducing the dynamic sister team, Bella and Cassie:

With a single-minded focus on her own ambitions, Bella differs greatly from her elder sister Cassie who spends all her time thinking of others and working for their benefit.  Bella takes Cassie's kindness for granted until a certain jewel--the relict of a mysterious woman from the past--comes into her possession. Bella discovers that the previous owner, a woman named Rose, lost everything in pursuit of her dreams. When Bella too suffers great loss, she begins to appreciate Cassie and all that she sacrificed for Bella's family. Only then, does Bella develop an understanding of the true meaning of beauty.

In earlier versions of Becoming Beauty, the relationships between Bella, Cassie and Rose were less emphasized.  Feedback from my readers revealed how much more rich the storyline would be if I brought forward the connections between the female characters. Incidentally, Bella became much more relatable when I expanded Cassie's role in the story.

So my dears, learn from me and look for truly meaningful themes to explore in your writing. Also, notice the positive influence other's have had in your life and find a way to pass it on. A hug, a kiss, an amazing gift (chocolate is always appreciated in my world). Carry on, my dears!