Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Adventures in Kindergarten

Even in the middle of things like book releases, book tours, and author events, life goes on and so does my teaching career. In case you're wondering, yes, teaching is hard. But we're not gluttons for punishment. We have plenty of reasons why we do what we do. Here are a few of mine:

It's Getting Hot in Here...
“You may want to take your jacket off. It's gets pretty warm in here.”

Student just looked at me, so I explained, “You know, because I'm smokin'.”

He gave me a half smirk & went to hang up his jacket. From the hall I heard, “Miss Boucher's been smoking!”

So Creepy
A handyman was perched on a ladder working on something in the ceiling. He could only be seen from the waist down. Children passed by on their way to lunch.


“That's creepy!”

Apparently they thought it was half a human hanging up there. I was too amused to correct them.

Any Questions?
 “Does anyone have any questions?” The unsuspecting student teacher asked. One child raises his hand.


“What does the fox say? Ring a ding da ding da ding ding!”

Beer. On a Wednesday Morning
Feeling like she needs a burst of energy, the teacher cracked open a Diet Coke. “Teacher, is that your beer?” A student inquired innocently.

Let me preface this by saying that our school mascot is an Astronaut. Pictured on my school shirt, the children were trying to guess what it was one day. 

“It's a man!” one called out excitedly.

Being the helpful teacher I am, I gave them a clue. “It starts with aaaaa...” They look at me blankly. “Aaaaaa...” I cue them. "Sssss..."

One dude perks up. “Ass man!” Yes, my friend, I long to say. This is our school mascot, the ass man.

Big Baby
Kindergartners have a difficult time with numbered dot-to-dots. I'm not sure why, but they do. By the time I came to the aid of one student, he had connected 1, 3, 4, 5,  and 2. So I tried to help him understand. “So you're growing up. You're 3 years old, then 4, 5. Then you go back to 2? You're a baby again?”

That was apparently the wrong thing to say.

“I'm not a baby!” he blustered. “I'm a big baby!” 

Of course I didn't make fun of him. I was too busy laughing.  

My Hands Aren't Black
When you run cardstock through the industrial strength copier, the ink rubs off on your fingers. My students discovered this during an activity and made numerous comments about how their hands were turning black. 

One of the African American students piped up. “My hands aren't black.” 

No one responded so he said it again, more loudly. Still no response. 

So he repeated it again. “My hands aren't black! Because I'm already black!”

I had to walk away and laugh somewhere else.

* * *

I'd love to hear your silly kids moments. Leave me a comment below! And here's a little something extra, just for you.

Kid Definitions: 
Skunky: when something smells bad. 

Instinct: when you stink in your body.

Chummy: when something is super duper huggable (ex: a teddy bear).

Read more of my adventures in Kindergarten in It's Playtime! Closing Time, & The Start of Something Good. And poke around the site for news on Becoming Beauty. Thanks for dropping in!


  1. Fantastic, really made me laugh!

    One museum teaching session always sticks in my mind. On being asked what an artefact might be one child stuck up his hand, 'Is it used for branding corpses?' Strangely, no mention of corpses or branding prior to this in the session, so he came up with the suggestion on his own merit. Very disturbing! The artefact was actually thought to have been used as a hair decoration, and looked like a small bead. The mind boggles!

    1. Kids are so creepy! And hilarious! After 10+ years of teaching, this is only the tip of the iceberg. So many crazy memories! Thanks for sharing Dee Dee!