Friday, January 9, 2015

Author Envy

Pity party for one, please! Here's your complimentary box of Kleenex, ma'am: 
love my fellow authors. I love interacting with and learning from them. I love how freely they share, uplift, and inspire. Yet here I sit, bawling my eyes out and having a full-on lady moment.

Why? You might ask. Because I'm finally admitting that I have a nasty case of Author Envy.  

I envy full-time authors, those making money and those who aren't. See, that's just not my reality. No matter how much I wish it was. Nope. If I don't pay the mortgage, nobody does...

I envy authors who know what they're doing in a veritable sea of social media. Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning. Sometimes it feels like I'm riding the waves. (Really, I have no idea what I did differently.)

I envy authors who GET what marketing is all about...and those who sit back and let someone else do it for them. Oh, how I'd love to have a personal marketer! But once again, if I don't hop off the couch and put myself out there, nothing will happen with any of my projects.

I envy authors who schedule time daily, weekly, & monthly for writing. Frankly, I run out of energy. The sweet little cherubs I work with every day have something to do with that, I'm sure. The little funny darlings.

I envy authors who can stay home and write in their pajamas. Why do pajamas just feel more inspiring than say, slacks and a blazer?

I envy authors who know what their characters are going to do and when they're going to do it. I regularly argue with my characters. You're making me sound like a woman! My main character keeps yelling at me. I do feel like I've emasculated him. Poor, poor Jonas. I shall try to make a man out of you, my dear.

I envy authors who seem to have it all figured out. Hold the phone! These guys don't even exist do they? If they do, I don't like them anyway. Nevermind. It's like complaining about unicorns, anyway.
I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this. Unless you really are one of those authors who has everything figured out, then I really don't want to talk to you. 

The thing I'm trying to remember throughout this whole process is that Author Envy goes both ways. And instead of comparing myself with others, I need to stand tall and be proud of my strengths as a writer

With an open heart and mind, I can participate in the wonderful community of professionals who freely help, uplift, and inspire one another as both readers and writers. And isn't that what we're here for?

Thanks for reading, my dears. I appreciate your support and expertise more than I can tell. Keep it coming!


  1. Your debut novel was a peach, you have loads more talent that some of these marketing whizz people, so don't be too envious!!!

    I presume you mean EMASCULATING Jonas, rather than immaculating???!!! Ha ha! I do that sort of thing all the time...!!!

    1. Autocorrect will kill me! Mwahaha! Thanks for the lovely compliments, Terry. I do think I have talent. I just enjoy shining a light on my weak moments, so when others get there they know they're not alone. :)

  2. I loved this; thank you. The only thing I've figured out is that I barely have a clue. The first step: the ton of stories in my head. Most of them are barely more than a beginning, but they're stored in a file, waiting their turn. If I live to be 120, I may get them all written.
    Second step: writing; sounds easy enough, but that's where I run into trouble. I have published one novel, so I know I can do this.

    1. Sounds familiar! I just keep writing! These days have been stressful & dramatic but the process is so fabulous! Thanks! ;)

  3. I have these moments all the time! After the kleenex box is empty, I try to channel my feelings into writing. What else can we do?

    1. Precisely! Perfect time to write a sad scene, Heather. (And yes, my own writing does get to me sometimes.)