Failing at Life 2017

Yup. It's that time of year again. I feel like I'm failing at everything.

Point 1: My classroom is a mess. My students have spring fever and Spring Break taunts from weeks away.

Point 2: I haven't made any headway on my current manuscript. (Quite frankly, I haven't even had the head space to attempt it. #ShameSpiral)

Point 3: Marketing? Yeah, let's not talk about marketing. I just wish my book were capable of selling themselves. (Every author dreams of self-marketing books, don't they?)

I don't know about you, but The Writer Suckfest is at least a yearly event for me. And no matter whether you have a full-time career or a full-time family (or both) you'll feel like you're failing at that too. Should we give up and consume copious amounts of chocolate while binge-watching an entire season of mediocre television?

I say NO. No way. Let's be proactive! (If that doesn't work, we can always resort to chocolate later, right?)

Five Tips for Surviving Failing at Life

Runaway Don't worry. It's not an act of cowardice. A change of pace and/or location helps you see things as less fatal than before. It may be as simple as disappearing into a really great book or movie but it also might require a beach-side cottage and the calming shush of the ocean.

This weekend I ran way to Comic Con. As weird as it sounds, there's nothing like hobnobbing with a hoard of geeks, dweeds, and super cool nerds to make you feel human again.

Regroup A chat with a friend, writing it out, or just talking to yourself until life makes sense again helps straighten things out. Think of soldiers in battle. Sometimes they have to retreat, assess the threat, and determine the best plan of attack. I don't know about your brain, but mine works in a similar fashion. That's why we have support groups, people!

Recognize Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Freaking Albert Einstein . . . As irritating as that quote is, there is something to be said for recognizing what's failed you in the past and what has resulted in success and correcting accordingly.

For instance, when I mentioned marketing earlier I really wanted to confess something. I haven't been using my past marketing experience to inform today's decisions. How dumb is that? Time to fix it and sell some more books!

Reconnect The longer I walk this planet, the more I see the importance of forging connections. We connect with ourselves, we connect with others, and we connect with the universe (whether you call it God or destiny or fate). We also connect with our own characters and stories. Whenever I'm floating aimlessly or bumbling about, usually it's because one or more lines of connection are down. Reassess, my dears, find the downed lines and pop them back in place. (BTW genuinely connecting with readers, followers, fellow writers, and reviewers is my number one marketing tip!)

Recommit Once a game plan has been developed, we need to recommit ourselves to it. Make it achievable and then jump right in! Does that mean we go down in flames if it doesn't work out? Nope. We live and learn and move on.

Here's my game plan:
1) writing two more guest posts
2) running promotions on my books
3) preparing for this summer's author events 
4) continuing to work on my current project
5) not freaking out about the pitfalls of March

After my weekend runaway, I can recognize that my students are coming along nicely and only require a little help. No group of kindergartners advanced to first graders without a certain amount of drama. In a similar manner, no first draft was ever completed without a certain amount of hair loss and swearing.

That's my plan and I'm sticking to it! (But I'm keeping the chocolate on hand, just in case!)

So my dears, what's gone horribly wrong in your life lately? And more importantly, what are you going to do about it? Leave me a comment! You're not alone, my dears. I'm here to support and inspire.

Purpose Reborn

So much stronger than fleeting happiness, a sense of purpose can drive us forward through the dark days.

What was I thinking when I published a book, took on the unknown world of marketing, left my job, started a new job, had hand surgery, underwent various dental procedures, and participated in several author events? 

No wonder I'm tired.

After the dust settled and the new car smell wore off those wonderful new experiences, the work of it settled into my bones and I understood what I'd gotten myself into. No matter how inspired I might have been to finish penning a chapter or complete a project, like I always do, I hit a place where I question my own capability and wonder if I can make it through. 

After reading A Room With a View in college, I have always thought of that state as being muddled. (Fabulous read, by the way.)

Photo courtesy of Upsplash.com

There are few endeavors I undertake lightly. I've always been a test the waters, then retest the waters again before jumping in kind of gal. So when I feel like I'm going through the motions, pasting on a smile while everything inside me is cold, it's particularly muddlesome. 

The cycle typically begins with a period of wallowing in couch potato land, accompanied by ranting, raving, and basic hermit behavior. (I try to keep this part strictly offline. To my dear friends, I love you and I'm sorry.) When I'm finally ready to take a proactive approach, I do the following:

I mentally review what brought me to this place and this decision. For me there is usually a pinnacle moment, a feeling of rightness that precedes the decision and gifts me with the purpose to see it through. Remembering that moment awakens at least a portion of that purpose again.

Sometimes taking a moment to breathe and rest, reconnect my heart and mind, and remove myself from the muddle is enough to recenter my mind. Music, art, theater, and literature all distract me from the drama of day-to-day life and help my mind refocus. On top of escape, the bonus gift of inspiration is just as likely to spark the next good idea, solution, or direction. 

Acting like an utter imbecile removes me from the muddle and allows me to examine the issue from the outside. Game night, chicken dances, kitchen yodeling, acting like a kids with kids, and about a million other pointless activities always help me remember who I am. Some people are off-put by silliness, but there is little I know that is better for retraining negative thoughts.

Each of us has moments when we lose sight of our purpose. As devastating as that might be, we can always reclaim it. And yes, I'm right there with you. Leave me a comment and tell me how you cope with life's muddles.