A Call to Arms. A Call to Love.

I believe in the power of good women united by common goals. 

I also believe in the power of kindness and love to reach those goals. Recently, Open Thought Vortex Magazine invited me to share my thoughts on feminism during Women's Empowerment Month. I was pleased to share the following:

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Feminism gets a bad rap. The term has been twisted to convey something far different than its original definition:

1.  the theory of political, economic, & social equality of the sexes

2.  organized activity on behalf of women's rights & interests

Basic. Elegant. Yet somehow feminism has become associated with radical behavior, extremely liberal opinions, and pointing the finger of blame at men, politicians, society, etc.

I’m a 40-year-old woman from rural Utah who teaches kindergarten and writes Young Adult novels. I refuse to support action that harms, demeans, or degrades others whose sex, age, political views, or religion differ from mine. And since today’s predominant strategy for promoting women’s rights is shouting your grievances at the top of your lungs, I tend to distance myself from it. The kindergarten teacher in me can’t see the difference between that strategy and the kid who declares himself (or herself) King of the Jungle Gym and enforces his (or her) claim through a series of playground scuffles.

I’ve seen my fair share of intolerance. I live in a particularly diverse area in Northern Utah where there is often tension resulting from differing political standpoints, religious beliefs, and even warring gangs. Local Pastor Monica Hall stated, “[There is] a natural tendency to draw distinctions and define each other. Definitions such as: she is Muslim, he is black, she is Presbyterian, he is Latino, they are Mormon, etc. . . . Such definitions can draw boundaries of who WE are and who THEY are. These boundaries can be dangerous. They can be dangerous when we use the boundary of division to ignore human needs.”

That’s my main issue with feminism. When we paint ourselves as victims and everyone else as aggressors, there’s no one left to explore solutions to the common problems we face.

Actress Emma Watson had plenty to say on the subject. “If we stop defining each other by what we are not and start defining ourselves by who we are, we can be much freer.”

In my classroom alone, I encounter bias, misconceptions, and intolerance. Kids already have a lot of baggage by the time they step into my room.  I do my best to employ a practice that reaches hearts, souls, and minds. It’s called Love. Love and Listen.

If all we do is scream about the world’s injustices, nothing will ever change. But if we take on our noble role as women who lead, nurture, teach, inspire, and uplift, we can effect change.

Author Norah Ephron summed it up beautifully. “Above all, be the heroine of your own life.”

That’s what I want. That’s MY prime goal as a feminist, to be the best me I can be and to bring as many women, girls, mothers, and sisters along with me as possible.

Author Francesca Lia Block said, “Just like any woman . . . we weave our stories out of our bodies, some of us through our children, or our art; some do it just by living. It’s all the same.”

I effect change in my classroom and in my novels, with my students, friends, and family. I stand up for what I believe and I refuse to hide who I am. I am a woman and I am powerful. And I believe in the power of love and kindness.

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Thanks for dropping by, my dears! If you'd like to read more women's empowerment, revisit The Making of a Woman or pop over to OTV Magazine and peruse the March 2017 posts. And please leave me your thoughts on womanhood and feminism in a comment below. Go forth and be awesome, my friends!

The Masculine Mystique

Dates. Romantic movies. Innocent flirtations at the library. All those ridiculous getting-to-know-you singleton games. No matter what the outcome, girls are always left wondering, What was he really thinking?
I'll admit it, women are confusing. It's part of our feminine mystique. However, no matter how perplexing men might find women, I refuse to believe that it comes close to the torture girls inflict on themselves after an interaction with the opposite sex. Behold the mental aerobics of the average female:

• What did he mean when he said he had a good time? 
• Did he just mean that it was a nice time or is he interested in something more? 
• If he is interested in something more, maybe he just wants to be good friends. 
• Maybe he just wants to be bowling buddies...
• Or lifelong buddies...
• Or lifelong partners? 
• Ohmigosh! Could he be The One?

No one can go from zero to marriage quicker than a girl. It's embarrassing really.

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure guys don't do that. With few exceptions, they tend to be more pragmatic about life. Sex. Food. Sleep. Life's essentials. What else would you really need?

Everything! reply the women of the world. An emotional connection. An intellectual connection. Financial stability. A freaking sense of humor! (I'm slightly passionate about that last one. And yes, I did overuse the italics. On purpose.) 

As I sink ever deeper into singledom, I appreciate any glimpse into the male psyche I'm afforded. I enjoyed Pride and Prejudice from Mr. Darcy's perspective (until contemporary authors decided that what was missing from Miss Austen's works was a healthy dose of sex). A new addition, Heir to Edenbrooke, opens the door on the workings of another hero's mind.

Philip Wyndham is dishy. There's really no other word for it. When he and Marianne Daventry connect, the sparks fly. It doesn't hurt that he's gentlemanly and flirtatious. Marianne can't help but fall for him. The only thing that was missing wasn't a healthy dose of sex, but Philip's take on things.

Either Julianne Donaldson sensed this or, like me, she falls as much in love with her characters as her readers, because Heir to Edenbrooke provides that missing glimpse into Philip's thoughts and feelings during the meet-cute with Marianne, as well as the details of his life before the events in Edenbrooke take place.

My reaction? *Insert girlie sigh* I loved it. And like everyone who's read it, I only wish it was longer. (However, I can respect Donaldson's choice to keep it at novelette length. After all, retelling the entire story from Philip's perspective would add little new information to the tale and that is what good writers strive to do. We want to add value not just word count.)

For detailed reviews of Donaldson's other books, visit A Proper Romance. There's a little something for the lady in all of us.

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FYI I might have penned a novel from the Dude's perspective. It was a pretty interesting process and hopefully all my hard work won't be wasted. But for now, here's Interlude in the Rose Garden to give you a taste of the direction Jonas Selkirk took me in.

By the way, I'd love to hear about your favorite Dude's Perspective Romances. Leave me a comment! And as always, thanks for dropping in!

Bend In The Road

Life is a tricky endeavor. Occasionally the way is smooth, sun-dappled, and edged with flowers. Other times the path twists and turns, hiding cockleburs, the occasional alligator-filled swamp, and most frightening all, the unknown. 

There are moments--call it moonlight madness or perfect clarity--when we bid farewell to the path of familiarity and brave the crocodiles. Standing on the cusp of that decision is exquisite and frightening. One considers what will be left behind and what dangers and adventures await around the bend. 

Follow your heart. Who knows where it may lead or what heartache and joy lies ahead. Only one thing is certain, it will grow you in ways you never imagined. With my book release, my self-perception changed. I have always been the Queen of Kindergarten (if you'd seen me you with a puppet and 25 enthralled youngsters, you'd be inclined to agree), but becoming a bonafide author changed more than just my Facebook status. 

Don't be afraid of change. It brings wonderful individuals and experiences into your life that you would not have known otherwise. Fingers crossed, hopes held high, and oh so many prayers sent heavenward, I am swapping out the public school setting for the charter school arena. I've never been more scared, excited, worried, and over-the-moon happy, at least not since the choice that brought me to kindergarten in the first place. 

Make your own happy. No path in life is always sunshine and roses, but you can to push through the storms until the sun shines again. I'm already mourning the friends, families, and community I'm leaving behind. But I can't allow myself to be swallowed up in what's behind and lose sight of the sunlight. Today I'm celebrating the friendships and successes I have known and making the most of the time I have left. With hugs, well-wishes, and friends cheering me on, I make my way around the bend. Soon enough, new friends and families will worm their way into my heart. 

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The emotions related to overhauling my life will probably find a home in the next story, masked as the struggles of another character carving out a place in the world. Because writing from life is what we do. Thanks for all your kindness and support, my dears! The last year has beena peppered with bends in the road. To read more about them, follow the various links embedded in the post. And I'd love to hear about your adventures, leave me a comment! Here's to adventuring!

Miranual for Life

Is It Just Me? The title along with that fabulous cover tells most of the story.

Have you ever felt like you were the only idiot in a sea of posh people who have it all together? That's the premise behind Miranda Hart's self-help book. I'm a huge fan of Miranda, a British show full of prat falls, running gags, and a colorful characters. So, when I discovered that Miranda Hart had written a book, I needed to take a peek. 

It's what she calls a Miran-ual for life, and covers everything from being non-musical to the horrors of weddings. Yes, that's right, horrible, try-to-behave-yourself-when-you're-on-display-for-everyone-to-see weddings. Miranda, whose own past (and present) are speckled with crazy foot-in-mouth moments, spends the bulk of the pages reassuring her readers that everyone has their issues, and the rest of them making you laugh out loud. It turns out no one is the poshy person they put forward. Isn't it time we embrace our uniqueness?

And coming from Miranda Hart, that advice is indeed reassuring. There's something unbelievably relatable about someone who accepts their own quirkiness and makes a career of it. That's “what I call” admirable.

So yes, if you need an ego boost or just a good laugh, pick up a copy of Is It Just Me? written in Miranda Hart's one-of-a kind comedienne style. You'll realize that no, it's not just you. We're all officially crazy. Isn't it such fun?

Check out Is It Just Me? on Goodreads or pick up a copy on Amazon. (And if you're reading this Miss Miranda, yes I'd love to be besties! Drop me a tweet, eh?)

Need something else to read? Check out some of my other recommendations: Love Triangle, Shmove Triangle, Letters To My Future Husband, Anne-with-an-E, Where Life Takes You, Persuaded, Pass the Pepper, or Geek Chic. Carry on, reader chums!

Plot Twist!

I grew up smack in the middle of a grunting group of boys--a circumstance I refer to as being raised by wolves. Perhaps because of this, I special in humanizing heathens (turning out-of-control preschoolers into competent first graders).  What saved me during childhood is the same thing that preserves my sanity today:

I learned to laugh at myself.

My dad, the Grand Poobah of bad punnery, taught me this lesson early in life.  Even when questionable comments come tumbling out of my own mouth and my face is burning with embarrassment, my gut reaction is, This is going to make a great story! And when others pop off with something truly witty and unexpected, my level of appreciation is expressed in a blasting laugh that frightens small children and animals. (For reals.) Over the years, I have come to believe that laughter really is the best medicine (unless you suffer from appendicitis, in which case laughter would be a counterproductive measure), and I have come to treasure those who make me laugh regularly.

What does this have to do with writing? Well, I don't know about you, but there's enough reality in my reality without spending my off-hours trudging through overly-serious fiction.  Characters must struggle, overcome challenges, and deal with setbacks, but they DO NOT have to wallow in the depths of despair.

It never hurts to tell the funny side of the story. In fact, it keeps readers from falling asleep, putting the book down, or reaching for something else.

In the immortal words of Donald O'Connor from Singing in the Rain:

Make 'em laugh!

Make 'em laugh!

Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?

Take the time to find your funny, embrace it, and share it with humanity.  We could all use a good laugh.

Thanks for visiting! How do you feel about funny characters and dropping them into ridiculous situations? Let's talk about it!